'Way back - in a funny book - there's an old saw
About a slow train going through Arkansas.
Well, at last that old train got switched to Ohio, -
And it creeps down to Saltsburg each week-end - oh, my, oh!
It picks up the By-Ways on Saturday eve,
And arrives - all steamed up - oh, would you believe? -
The following Wednesday - just around noon,
When the Press is all printed and wrapped - very soon
To go to the postoffice - for each subscriber.
Just think of the sagging of each moral fiber
Of every fond reader - expectant - to find
That the By-Ways - alas! - has been left far behind.
So now, to make sure that I send Easter greetings,
I send them right now.
Decoration Day meetings
Should have a brief word. I send a reply:
"I salute you today - and the Fourth of July!"
And just to make sure of prompt words of good cheer,
Here's advance "Merry Christmas" and a "Happy New Year"!